|
Personal Remedies [Excerpted from Section 1 of Workplace Harassment Action Taskforce and Ontario Women's Directorate's publication, Workplace
Harassment: An Action Guide for Women. (Toronto, ON: Ontario Women's Directorate, 1995) To order, see
Publications] You have choices about how to deal with workplace harassment. The
following two sections of this guide talk about workplace remedies and legal remedies. But before you try these remedies, you may want to try to deal with harassment personally.
You will get some control over the situation if you take any or all of these steps:
- talk to someone;
- get information;
- record every incident in detail;
- keep records of your job performance;
- speak clearly to the harasser;
- write to the harasser;
- try other informal actions.
Doing any of these things will help you move forward. Your personal efforts may not stop the harassment, but these steps will help you if you decide to try other remedies. Talk to Someone You might be feeling unsure and worried. You might think you are imagining the harassment. You might think that you are causing it. You might be angry. You need a safe place to talk about your feelings.
Talk to a friend or coworker you trust. If you are in a union, talk to your steward. If the union has a women's committee, you could talk to someone there. You can also call a community group or local agency. You will
find a list of them in the RESOURCES section of this guide. Get Information You need to put a name to what is happening. You also need to know your rights and your options for action. Find
out everything you can about the policies of your workplace. The more you know, the better you can deal with the harasser, your employer and others you may need to talk to. Turn to Section 3 on WORKPIACE REMEDIES
for more information. Think about what you need to make it through this. Don't let anyone push you into doing something that doesn't feel right to you. Record Every Incident in Detail It is very
important to keep track of the harassment you experience. You will need exact details if you take action.You should also keep a record of everything you do to try to stop the harassment.
Keep a journal of what happens. Use a bound notebook. That way no one can add paper, or change the order of the pages. Write down everything you remember, including:
- dates, places, times, details, gestures, words, etc.;
- names and telephone numbers of everyone who saw or heard the harassment and is willing to be a witness;
- your emotional or physical reactions when you were being harassed and after the incident.
Try to find out if other employees are being harassed. You will need to be careful about this. It will be harder for you if rumours start to fly If you are not the only one experiencing harassment, see if the
others will give you their names and numbers. They can be good support people. They may even decide to take action with you. Sometimes former employees of your workplace have been harassed too. Try to get the names and
numbers of people who used to work with the harasser. Again, use caution when you go after this information. Find out if these employees were harassed, and if they filed a complaint. Their stories may support your case.
A male supervisor always picked on Asian women. He thought Asian women were submissive. Over the years, many women were hired and many quit. Some of the women who had worked with this man met through a group for
Asian women. They found that the supervisor had a pattern of harassing women from a certain background. This information helped Margaret, who was still working for him. She was trying to figure out how to get the
harassment to stop. Keep a record of your actions. Make dated entries in a journal of each step you take to stop the harassment. All of these notes can help you later on. They will remind you of specific
facts and events. They will help you see where your case is strong and where it is weak. If you go to management or take legal action, your journal will make your case stronger. Management may react more quickly when
they see that you have lots of information about the harassment. Detailed documents help show the pattern of harassment. Include:
- discussions with the harasser;
- discussions with other employees;
- letters to the harasser or to his supervisor;
- steps taken with the union or with management;
- any meetings with a doctor.
Keep anything that the harasser gives you. Letters, memos, gifts, drawings or taped messages on your answering machine can all be important evidence of harassment. Keep Records of Your Job Performance
Keep copies of your job evaluations and any memos about your work. If a supervisor praises your work, write a note of thanks to create a record of it ("Thanks for telling me how impressed you were with the Jones
report"). The harasser may claim that you are just unhappy about not getting a promotion. He may start to criticize your work and give you bad job evaluations. He may look for a reason not to give you a raise, or
to fire you. He will have trouble if you have written proof that your work record has been good. Alice's boss was always pressuring her to have sex with him. He warned her that if she said anything or reported him,
he would say she was just angry about a bad evaluation he had given her. But Alice had records of her good work. Her evaluations were all above average, and she had letters thanking her boss for three different verbal
compliments on her work. She reported his harassment, and her boss was removed from his supervisory position. Speak Clearly to the Harasser Speaking clearly to the harasser right away about your
objections may be enough. He may stop the offensive behaviour. But there are times when you might choose to write to him. If you wish to write, turn to the next part on how to Write to the Harasser.
Take someone with you when you talk to a harasser or deliver your written message. He will not be able to say that he was unaware he was bothering you. You will have a witness. Speak calmly to the harasser. Give him a
chance to understand and change his behaviour. Maybe you can keep your work relationship friendly. Think about what you want to say Be clear and specific. Use words with which you feel comfortable. Do not give him the
chance to embarrass you by asking for more details than you want to talk about. State clearly that you object to the behaviour. You do not need to explain why you object. Your objection alone is enough to convey that he
should stop. If he keeps asking for explanations, just repeat that you object to the behaviour and you want it to stop. Here re some sample approaches:
"it makes me uncomfortable when you look at me that way. I'm not questioning your intentions, but I'm asking you not to do it again."
"It is hard to give up old habits, but that one is going to have to go."
"I have told you before that I don't want to go out with you. When you ask me out on dates, you make me uncomfortable. If you don't stop, I will have to talk to [someone higher up boss, manager,
owner]."
"I don't like you brushing up against my body. You know that it isn't accidental. If you don't act properly and professionally, I will report this harassment."
"If you touch me that way one more time, I'll report you so fast you won't know what hit you."
"Why don't we step into the outer office so you can make that request in front of the rest of the staff?"
"Sure I can take a joke. What I won't take is harassment. If you don't know the difference, I'll be happy to recommend some reading material."
Write to the Harasser You might want to write to the harasser if saying "no" doesn't work, or if you are uncomfortable talking to him.
- Write a clear description of the behaviour you don't like.
- Say exactly what you want to happen next.
- Don't exaggerate.
- Stick to what you know.
- Don't talk about his feelings or intentions or motives.
You can ask someone to write the letter for you or help you write it. Here is a sample letter:
Date: Dear For the past two weeks, every
time you see me you ask me out on a date and rub against me. I have told you that I am not interested in anything but a work relationship with you. I want you to stop bothering me and touching me.
Yours sincerely,
If you want, you can add what you plan to do if the behaviour does not stop. For example: "If it
happens again, I will file harassment charges." You don't need to send a copy of the letter to anyone else at this point. Keep a copy of it with your other records, away from your workplace. Speaking directly to the harasser or writing to him can be very hard, especially if he is your boss. It is possible that the harasser already knows that you don't like his
behaviour. He may be doing it on purpose and he may think he can get away with it.Try Other Informal Actions Here are some suggestions of other informal actions you can try: You may need to
relieve some stress and collect your thoughts. If you can, call in sick to work. Stand to speak to the harasser or ask him to sit. This will help you feel in control. If a pinup picture of a nude or nearnude woman
is in your workplace, ask the worker who put it up how he would feel if someone put a nude picture of his wife or daughter on the wall. Josie worked in a small business office. There were six people in the office.
Two of them were men. Half of the wall space in the room was covered with posters the men had put up. There were women in string bikinis and in "sexy" poses. The desks were separated only by short room
dividers. Josie didn't like having to look at nearly naked women all day while she worked. When she asked one of the men if he would take down the two worst posters, he laughed at her and told her to lighten up. Josie
began bringing posters of her own into the office. By her desk she put up a "No Means No" sexual assault poster, and a poster of all of the white men at Canada's Confederation in 1867, with text that asks
"Who speaks for women?" All the women in the office were amused by the men's discomfort. Two days later the posters Josie wanted the men to take down were gone. If the harasser speaks to you in a low
voice, repeat what he has said in a very loud voice. If the harasser stands too close for your comfort and says he wants to speak with you, ask him to move back. You do not have to be rude to make your point. Try to
have a supportive coworker near you when the harasser is around or when you have to be in a place where you have been harassed before. If the harasser bothers you in the photocopy room, make your copies when another
worker is also in the room. Leave pamphlets on harassment lying around the workplace. You could put a definition of harassment on the harasser's desk or in his mailbox and circle the important sections. You can get
this literature from some of the support services listed in the RESOURCES section of this guide. Use jokes to reduce the harasser's power. This may help if you don't feel safe enough to express your anger to
him. Do not joke if you think the harasser will try to get back at you. But a witty reply can work, and can help you get support from others in the workplace. A male coworker took his pants off in front of Susan. She
told him, "I've got five brothers, so you're not showing me anything I haven't seen before." Rebecca was working as a "temp" in an office. For two weeks, Henry, a coworker, made sexual comments
and obscene gestures to her. On the last day of her temp job at this office, she walked up to him, said good morning, and with a friendly pat stuck a postcard to his back with tape. It read, "Hi, my name is Dick.
I'm responsible for the sexual harassment taking place in this office." The postcard was a picture of a penis. For Rebecca, this was a powerful way to deal with her harasser. The other women in the office thought
it was very funny They too had put up with Henry's behaviour. They didn't tell on her. This worked for Rebecca because Henry had no say in evaluating her work or determining her future placements.
You must judge whether to:
- say something to the harasser;
- use more subtle actions;
- try more formal remedies through your workplace or the legal system.
The personal remedies in this section are useful on their own. They are also useful steps to take to prepare for the actions suggested in Section 3 on WORKPLACE REMEDIES. Notes on Section 2
1. Some of this section is adapted from the Ontario Women's Directorate workinprogress, Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: It's Our Business Too, soon to be published. 2. Ibid. |
